you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
