So drunk its hurt
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
