I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
