i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
