Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
