things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
im on a boat
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