Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
