I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
