remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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