I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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