Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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