i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
