she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
