Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
