i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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