Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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