Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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