I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
