oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
