Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
