yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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