i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
