we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
