there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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