I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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