Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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