I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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