What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
