I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
