So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
