nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
