We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
