called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
