Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
