these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
