your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it's like heaven, but drunker
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
