Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
