In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
