Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
