Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
