It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you didnt know i had herpes?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
