I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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