i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think i have two assholes
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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