Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
