He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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