Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
