i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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