do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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