Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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