we have officially lost it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
