i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
