how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
