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just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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