The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
