ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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