you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
